deconstructing conventional wisdom

I was recently visiting my Dad who had been reading a book by his favourite biologist, Desmond Morris - Illustrated Babywatching. I read it while I was there for the weekend. It's absolutely fascinating, full of baby-related trivia such as why babies are called babies, why they cry, and how quickly they learn to recognise the smell of their own mother's breastmilk.

But one section I thought could be amended. The section on toilet training averred that, among other things, baby chimpanzees start to hold themselves away from their mothers when weeing only once they are about two years old. Until then they urinated on their mothers. This was the sole piece of biological evidence Morris gave for saying that human babies had no control of their elimination processes (or sphincters).

However, Umi is now nine weeks old, and I have held her over a pot to do wees and poos from her first day of life. At the beginning I would undo her nappy, which would often be dry, and straight away she would wee, stimulated by the cool air. But from about six weeks on, she had enough control to wait until I held her over the pot. At night she would keep her nappy dry between feeds. At other times, she'd make a special noise so that I would give her a 'potty opportunity'.

I think human babies are born having the awareness of when they eliminate. EC is about recognising small signs of this awareness and acting on them. It's not the same as toilet training.
Morris says you can't 'teach' an infant how to toilet. Of course - neither can you teach a baby to cook and use a knife and fork. However, you can help a baby to eliminate hygienically and comfortably, just as you can help a baby to access milk.

Seems a no-brainer, really.

Diaper-Free arrived!

I just got the book I ordered second hand on Amazon. It's called Diaper-Free, and for non-Northern Americans, that means No Nappies!

I didn't detail this idea in the book, for the simple reason that I don't have much personal experience. I didn't want to push others to do something I wasn't prepared to myself.
However I do want to try this as soon as I have the opportunity (Baby Number 2).

Elimination Commnication, or Natural Infant Hygiene, is all about beginning the communication process regarding toileting right from the newborn stage. You can start weeing your baby in a bowl at one day old. That's pretty exciting to think.

As the child grows he or she becomes naturally attuned to saving her or his bowel movements and wees for the pot. You hold him or her over it, close to your own body. It's not at all the same as what I did - letting my toddler wee and poo everywhere until he finally became more aware of it. The baby is aware right from the very beginning, rather than needing to be re-educated about doing things in the toilet instead of in a nappy. Weeing and pooing in a nappy is, after all, what we originally taught him or her, to do. How confusing for the child, to then be told this is undesirable!

From an environmental perspective, what could be better than this idea of baby toileting? By-pass the entire debate around cloth water guzzlers and disposable landfill crims (though I think this debate is a complete red herring, distracting from the real issues).

It sounds time-consuming, to watch your baby for signs of needing to go to the toilet all the time - particularly when the baby is doing wees every twenty minutes or so, like at first. But as I read, I begin to think it can be done. I know a woman at T's playgroup who does this while caring for her very active 3 year old Down's Syndrome daughter, and she has a 7 year old as well. So how time-consuming can it be?

My main question at this stage is - can natural infant hygiene be practised if you don't sleep with your baby? Since the book seems to assume this, I feel a bit alienated - we don't usually sleep with T, unless he is sick or upset.

I do understand the logic of co-sleeping, and all my Japanese friends (in Japan, that is) do it with their babies. But I just have reservations about what it means for the marital relationship. Most people I know with more than one baby sleep separately - each partner with a different child. I would miss A - (not sex - more the cosy marital chats after the lights are out, that kind of thing - not to mention my comfortable sleep). But if you have baby in another bed (or even another room), how do you know when he needs to pee in the night? Or does not doing co-sleeping even cut you out of the much-vaunted level of 'connection' parent and child have to have to do Elimination Communication? If anyone has any wisdom on this front, I'd be so glad to hear it.